How do you handle a two-year-old tantrum? They can be frazzling.
The thing to remember is that the child has three possible reasons for having a tantrum:
1. For attention
2. To test you and your reaction
3. Fatigue
The fourth reason, being "spoiled," generally does not appear until later, if the parent reacts in a way that rewards the child's desire for negative attention or gives the child what he demands.
Now, I recognize that children are not one size fits all, and that works for one kid might not work for another; but one method I've found very effective may work for many other parents as well. When my son hit the terrible twos and began throwing tantrums, I responded (calmly -- it is important that they know they can't push your buttons!) by saying "go cry in your room." This deprived him of getting attention for outbursts, making angry tears unrewarding. If he really needed to cry, he wasn't forbidden it; he just had to do it on his own and calm down before coming out. He very quickly learned how to turn off tantrum tears and say "I'm all done crying!"
The caution, though, is that you have to be careful to recognize when fatigue is the root of his behavioral problems. Sometimes he really will need outside calming, because he's too tired to be in control of his own emotions. At those times, a hug and a nap will often do wonders. Just don't let him learn to manipulate you into thinking that all tantrums are fatigue!
Ideas, thoughts, opinions, and musings on homeschooling, saving money, crafts, child raising, coffee, or whatever else comes to mind.
About Me
- Christina Martin
- Still a newlywed after six years of marriage, I'm also a very full time mother -- with eight kids (after combining households). I'm an aspiring writer who isn't currently very active in working toward a career.
2 comments:
Our trick for handling tantrums was that most of the house was a "tantrum free zone" and the kids were allowed to have tantrums in thier bedrooms only.
That way if they were trying to fulfil reasons 1 or 2 they were out of sight of me, because I was in another part of the house doing whatever it was I had to be at that moment, and if it was for reason #3 they were close to their bed and would finally get the hint and take a nap.
This worked pretty well for all five of the kids, and they didn't throw many tantrums because they didn't get the effect they were looking for.
That's good.
A few times I've tried that with my son. I'll tell him that if he wants to cry or behave that way, he has to do it in his room. Several times he stopeed right away, since he didn't want to be in his room alone.
On the other hand, it wasn't great, because he'd then go to his room and start playing.
Either way, the tantrum ended.
And you mzake a great point about fatigue. Overtired tots is not a good combination!
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